Songs That Helped Me Come Out
Image: Ash Lim.
Queer Australian-Chinese artist JËVA recently shared his sophomore EP, Typhoon. To celebrate the release, the singer has curated an exclusive playlist for MILKY, full of some he found comfort in in the lead up to coming out.
Typhoon documents the musicians journey to self-acceptance, bringing queer stories and representation to the forefront. JËVA will take to the stage at The Vanguard on December 14th for an exclusive EP launch, supported by Nicole Issa, PEY PEY & ETHAN. The performance is set to capture the themes present on the EP, and serve as a celebration of diverse voices. Tickets are on sale now!
Speaking of the EP, the musician shares: "Through writing this EP, it’s helped me process each and every difficult emotion on the journey. I had lived 20 years of my life hiding this big secret and holding such weight of shame... That starting the domino effect of confessing was a point of no return. This extremely uncomfortable element of un-chartered territory surrounding my identity gave this already tricky romantic situation a supercharged emotional weight. It was an extremely hard time of my life. Through writing the songs I found a safe space to explore how I was feeling, process my trauma & navigate this really tricky time of my life. I couldn’t see it then, but it was my support system.”
I went and revisited my old iTunes (before the days of Spotify) playlist to dig up what helped me over the years.
ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES - MEG MAC
This song really helped me gearing up towards telling my parents. It felt like I needed to roll up my sleeves, put my big boy hat on and finally confront my demons.
SAME LOVE - MACKLEMORE
I was deep in the closet when this was first released. I listened to it a few times and cried, then decided I hated it. I came back to this a few years later when I was ready.
DREAMING WITH A BROKEN HEART - JOHN MAYER
This was for my broken spirit, comforting me when I felt so hopeless and frozen & once again comforting me when my mum didn’t take it well.
THE CLIMB - MILEY CYRUS
Need I say anything?
WHO SAYS - SELENA GOMEZ & THE SCENE
I’m not embarrassed to say this hyped me up to accept myself over the years (or maybe just a little)
BREAKAWAY - KELLY CLARKSON
Used to listen to this at the park where I’d go on the swings alone and imagine the day I set myself free
COME CLEAN - HILARY DUFF
Again another icon. Listened to this a year or two before actually coming out, anticipating washing everything away with the rain.
PART OF YOUR WORLD - JESSIE J (WE LOVE DISNEY)
I remember this one so vividly.. The way Jessie J recontextualised this song really made me connect to it. The Little Mermaid and this song became my personal metaphor. I’d sing this one on repeat looking out into the water. This sounds so embarrassing but it was honestly so emotional for me.
WHO YOU ARE - JESSIE J
Many nights by the water staring at the stars
WORTH THE WAIT - JORDIN SPARKS
This song made me hold onto hope that one day I’d find my dream guy & I’d be happy - everything would be worth the wait and I’d understand the journey.
PERFECT DAY - HOKU
This is so funny reflecting but I literally listened to this on days that I came out to people to gas myself up.
RUN AWAY WITH ME - CARLY RAE JEPSEN
Escapism, Future Possibilities, Queer Romance - everything I envisioned from this song. Let’s run away to the future reality where everything is ok.
HEAVEN - TROYE SIVAN, BETTY WHO
First song by a queer pop artist that encapsulated what I’m sure so many queer people have felt so well. Troye Sivan is a pioneer in my eyes.
REFLECTION - MULAN
Don’t laugh this helped me.
WHEN WILL MY LIFE BEGIN - MANDY MOORE
Once again don’t laugh but yes I contextualised this song also.
TRUE COLOURS - CYNDI LAUPER
Don’t think I need to say anything here.. Except that the version I actually listened to on repeat as an emo little boy in my room was the Glee cover hahahahahaha.
CHASING CARS - SNOW PATROL
Another escapism song for me, staring at the stars & hoping for the future
NIGHT CHANGES - ONE DIRECTION
DON’T LAUGH I LISTENED TO IT AS I WAS ABOUT TO COME OUT AND I KEPT THINKING ABOUT HOW FAR I’D COME TO FINALLY BE READY IT WAS ODDLY COMFORTING
I LIVED - ONEREPUBLIC
I found this when I was looking for my old coming out playlist on iTune & was a bit confused. I had a listen to the track and started bawling uncontrollably. If anything this song triggered something the most. I think I would hold onto the idea that by finally having the bravery to live authentically and be my whole self, I will have finally lived.
Typhoon is out now!